so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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