Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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