Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
