i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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