Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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