we have officially lost it.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
