the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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