Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
babies were throwing up all over the place
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
