This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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