I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
