So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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