Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
