a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
and you fell through a lawn chair
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
