people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
