Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
