i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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