im drinking this country out of the recession.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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