my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
