I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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