her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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