all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
