wakey wakey hands off snakey
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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