He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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