please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
