so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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