No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
