Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
