"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i barfeds in our rink
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize