My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
