Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
