Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
