She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
A+ Viking dick
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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