Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
