STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
