You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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