Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
