Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
