Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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