Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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