I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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