I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
