Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
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She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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