i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's blow job season.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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