the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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