Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
