I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
