real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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