one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize