I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
