Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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