You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
