we're blogging at a bar
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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