Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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