watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
