pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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