She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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