the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You smell like a Billy Joel song
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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