How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
